Day 96: Lost in Space

We Start out as Energy: friction and conflict – Creating negative-energy experience

This is the source of what we think of as WHO WE ARE

This is the Origin of Separation from Life: Manifesting Negative Energy as who we believe ourselves to be.

We Use Malice: blame, spite, justification, excuse because:

“I am a Singularity, I require Energy, I manifest Conflict and Negativity in order to consume and extract Energy from the Substance of this Reality”

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

to continue into infinity existing as this relationship/connection between energy and substance,as friction/conflict to consume substance to transform into Energy  for both energy itself and substance itself in reaching/attaining/possessing its positive-energy experience existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how I evolved a character who preferred to “get lost” from reality: to create an alternate reality within positivity, escaping the negative, escaping responsibility from facing who I am and from what I have created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a pattern of self-judgment because I used weed to escape from Here, to get lost and to live in an alternate reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a pattern of spiting myself and splitting myself in two, with one half approving and the other disapproving of myself — a “split” that mirrors a multitude of “splits” and contradictions I have accepted as normal within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a pattern of using weed to create an emotional charge of  feelings and emotions, within a desire to have an experience of a More and Greater Me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed as way to escape from taking responsibility, preferring to exist in fantasy, projection and possibility — anywhere but standing as the living example of creating the actual conditions that would provide Decency for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a pattern of lostness where I chose to remain lost within fantasies and projections rather than deal and face the reality I had created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a pattern of giving up on myself as a lost cause within self-pity and self-righteousness that no one could ever really understand me, so I ‘might as well’ give up and do whatever I wanted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed as a way to forget decisions made; decisions that I am ashamed of, or want to forget.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a pattern of abuse towards my physical body  within smoking weed, not considering the harmful effect on my Physical Body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a pattern of disregarding the advice of my father and mother who tried to tell me that smoking weed was not a good idea.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed as a way to have intimacy with myself and with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed to prove that I am cool .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed in order to feel better about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed to escape myself as my mind patterns, habits and compulsions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed because I was unhappy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed in order to prove my maturity and appear ‘grown up.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use weed in order to live a sense of control over my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek the acceptance from my brothers through smoking with them.

 

I commit myself to remain here in the present with all that I have created and to no more run from who and what I am.

I commit myself to living the actuality of self-forgiveness where I let go of hte past and do not allow myself to dwell in thoughts and within being here in each moment I commit myself to the practical creation of a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to the healing of all the splits within myself and as best I can within the world – through writing and speaking about the practicality of an Equal Money System that supports all life and whose implementation will promote the end of separation.

I commit myself to, when I have the thought to smoke weed, to stop and breathe and live in this moment, not in the mind and within this I become the clear and present Director of me.

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